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Joke Thread

#61
A thief got past security at the Louvre, stole some paintings and made it safely to his van. 
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. 
When asked how he could plan such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied "the reason I stole the paintings was, I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make the Van Gogh" Big Grin

I was driving home when my satnav said "Turn off in 200 yards"


Sure enough, my wife was stood there. Big Grin
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#62
There was a couple who was married for 40 Years.

They took a trip to Jeruslum, and his wife dies.

The Preacher said she can have a nice Funeral here for $250 Dollars, or $5,000 Dollars to ship her home.

He thought about it for a minute, and then said he would spend the $5,000 Dollars.

He said there is a story about a person dying and he rose from the Dead in three days.

Well I don't want that happening to me  Tongue
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#63
(02-10-2018, 01:18 AM)hssc11045 Wrote: A thief got past security at the Louvre, stole some paintings and made it safely to his van. 
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. 
When asked how he could plan such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied "the reason I stole the paintings was, I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make the Van Gogh" Big Grin

I was driving home when my satnav said "Turn off in 200 yards"


Sure enough, my wife was stood there. Big Grin

Big Grin Big Grin
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#64
(09-10-2018, 09:45 PM)WetToiletPaper712 Wrote: There was a couple who was married for 40 Years.

They took a trip to Jeruslum, and his wife dies.

The Preacher said she can have a nice Funeral here for $250 Dollars, or $5,000 Dollars to ship her home.

He thought about it for a minute, and then said he would spend the $5,000 Dollars.

He said there is a story about a person dying and he rose from the Dead in three days.

Well I don't want that happening to me  Tongue

Big Grin Big Grin
DA

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Master remains The Master






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