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[General Discussion] COVID Jokes

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#1
I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.
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The government has banned groups larger than 5.
If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least favorite!
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Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!
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The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required!
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Remember when we were little and our underwear had the days of the week on them?
Yeah, they would be very helpful right now.
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Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier.
If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal!
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Today’s Weather?
Room temperature
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30 Days Hath September, April, June and November
All the rest have 31 .. except March which had 8000
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Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.
Now weeds legal and schools closed ... damn kids are living’ the dream!
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This is stupid.  I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!
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If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock”, don’t open  It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home
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After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside.
I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them.
Now I understand dogs.
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Day 8 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house:

1. We’re losing money by the minute.
2. Cocktails are acceptable at any hour.
3. Nobody knows what time it is.
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[-] The following 1 user says Thank You to kshitij_it for this post:
  • DA
#2
Nice one!

Please don't spam my inbox, if i'm not replying, i'm not online and i haven't read your pm. Thanks a lot for understanding.
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#3
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#4
Not sure if its a joke but kinda funny idea how we have a bioweapon just all over the place. im sure some crazy groups are feeling stupid... "ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS EAT STREET BAT MEAT!!! WE COULD HAVE HAD THE WHOLE WORLD SHITTING THEIR PANTS." 
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#5
If vaccine will not come in 2 months then it will be the biggest joke from scientist and we all will cry.
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[-] The following 2 users say Thank You to Babua10 for this post:
  • DA, kshitij_it
#6
Wow! Theses are  Pretty good, are there any more??
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[-] The following 1 user says Thank You to Satyr213 for this post:
  • kshitij_it
#7
If I find anymore I'll post them here
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[-] The following 1 user says Thank You to kshitij_it for this post:
  • DA




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