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Well it was 10 years ago today my best mate Kev came running out of the room shouting "its a boy, its a boy" with tears streaming down his face............
We never went back to Thailand!!!
Just been accused of Plagiarism.
Their words......... not mine!!!!
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Man: “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
Friend: “Why not?”
Man: “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
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I know a girl who was assaulted using the end of a vacuum cleaner .
She is still in hospital but is picking up nicely ....
Should Coronavirus be renamed Kung Flu?
Some mates of mine are holding a joint party for the Chinese New Year and Burns Night called ‘Chinese-Burns Night’
I wasn't keen but they twisted my arm......
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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
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Q: What's the difference between pink and purple?
A: The grip!
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Me: Wanna suck my dick?
Girl: No.
Me: Probably for the best. I mean, it has a label-Warning! Choking Hazard!
Girl: Isn't that the warning put on tiny objects?
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I was watching woman's golf last night.
They are terrible at driving, but great with an iron!!!
What's four inches & goes in one direction?
Simon Cowell's cock.
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either"
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Prince Charles is self isolating with Covid-19 whilst his brother Prince Andrew is self isolating with
Emily-15.......
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds :"Wife Wanted".
The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."