General Discussion Joke Thread

[Attila]

Nike was founded by Men,
SO its tagline says..
“Just Do It”
If Nike had been founded by a woman,
its tagline would have been:
“Just do it.. if you want to… I don’t want to force you..
it’s your life, anyway you don’t listen to me…Do what you
want to do… Who am I to say anything… But it has to
happen, and you have to do it!!”

[DA]

[hssc11045]

A very sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients (they were good friends) and can now no longer work in the profession he loves. What a waste of time, effort, training and money.

 A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.


What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.  


I can swallow a shoelace and make it come out tied in a bow...

 I shit you knot

[DA]

[hssc11045]

Two lesbians barged into the house & started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath

I tried to help but I could only knock one out 


My girlfriend asked me earlier when I last had sex with someone that wasn't her?

I said:

"Back in 08"

It sounds much better than 'August'




My Wife told me she was leaving me because of my obsession with the Monkeys,

I thought she was kidding............ but then i saw her Face

[DA]

[WetToiletPaper712]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

[DA]

[WetToiletPaper712]

Marriage is like a WorkShop.

You Work,

She Shops.

[DA]

good one!